How to find your way without a map

I always thought that your specific child ,when they are born,  could hand you the manual that goes with them, to tell you what to do in every situation! Well, we all know that never happens and so you go along raising your children and find out you are helping raise yourself as well. welcome to parenting 101.
You try to prepare yourself as best as you can, but it is never enough.
Katie was so easy as an infant and toddler in so many ways and I did often want to have that experience again and be able to bond with this baby we we receiving so that when they grew there would never be any question as to who was mom. I was not sure what to think when we were asked to take J.
He was turning 5 and every moment of his infancy until now was already taken and fulfilled by a woman whom he knew as mom.  What would this be like in my life? Would we bond, would there be the special moments that we'd share that I could store away in my precious mama memories forever?
What do I do with this? How do you form a bond with a child who already has one? 
Turns out in all reality that was not going to be the issue at all. There were greater things that we had to face. First, there was never a bond that had been formed in the past and a large lack of trust issues. The life he had lived until now was full of inconsistency and him being self-sufficient. I quickly learned that I can tell him until I am blue in the face that I will always love him and be there for him, but its not until I show him constantly that he believes it. So, does that mean in the last 8 months that I have figured it all out?.....To be honest, I wish I could say "oh yes!!!! I have all of the answers to bonding to a 5 year old boy that has called me mom all of 5 minutes! Absolutely not. I've not had to face any of this on my own and am very thankful for that. I've  had to read a lot from other mothers that have been through this and spend a lot of hours on my knees at my bedside in prayer. I have realized that I do not posess the answers to any of this, only my experience of what was and what has come. 
I have had a lot of fear, bumpy days, tears and expectations that have been crushed! I can say today with every fiber in my bones that it has been worth it.